Don’t Rely On Self Help. Get Support!

“The level of thinking that created the problem won’t create the solution.” Albert Einstein

I can’t transform my life without the support from friends, family, and even expert help when needed. I tried for years to figure out my problems. I studied psychology, read lot’s of self-help books… I couldn’t make change permanent. I was able to change for a while but over time, I always reverted back to old habits. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t change my life. I don’t know why suicide became my only alternative. I wanted to kill myself before I was willing to ask for support.

Today my life is drastically different. I owe my life to people who are there for me.

I didn’t have friends to turn to for help… I pushed people out of my life and went into a deep depression and isolated for weeks/months/YEARS!!! I had 2 friends left; my best friend lived in Arizona and a friend from graduate school who I never saw.  I lived as a shut in and tried desperately to fix myself. I fantasized about getting better and dreamed of the day I would connect with old friends and they would praise me for how great I looked.  That day never came and years had passes.  My thinking that created all my problems would not find a solution.  I felt it ironic that with a Ph.D. in an area of psychology, I felt ashamed that I couldn’t figure it out and that I needed help. Today I feel shame that I held such an ignorant belief.  So I hit my bottom and finally asked for help.

When I started building my support team, I started with a therapist. She saved my life.  Then came fellows from a support group who became friends, then I gained the courage to ask family for help.  It’s was not easy but today if I feel myself unraveling, I can pick up the phone and reach out to a friend 24 hours a day!

Think about the kind of support team you want to have.  They say behind every great man is a woman, but behind every inspiring person is a GREAT support team.  Do you have support? You can.  You just have to be willing to let go of your desire to figure it all out yourself.  It’s not help. It’s support. We don’t ask others to do for us, we ask others to be there for us and to encourage us to do what we know is possible… with support!