“It’s never too late to become what you might have been.” – George Eliot
It’s never too late to start over. It’s never too late to be happy. It’s never too late to fall in love. It’s never to late to live the life you dreamed of… It’s never to late to feel young again! Though my mind and body may tell me otherwise. At 38 years old, this is not the life I had in mind when I was 30… Then again, at 30 I was living a life I couldn’t have imagined when I was 20! Does it ever turn out the way we plan?
I love my life today, and I’d like to say I wouldn’t change a thing but that’s the beauty of life… It’s never too late to become everything I dream of. I love my life and do everything I can to change, to grow, to challenge myself, to remove the façade, to be vulnerable, to be me. The most amazing thing about my process of transformation is the opportunity to experience everthing from a different perspective. The world and everything in it is different as I become renewed, transformed.
When I was active in my addiction and suffering from severe depression I hated everything. I was afraid. I lived as a shut it. When I had to venture out into the real world I was a really nice guy. People would say, “you’re always smiling” not knowing it was a defense. I was afraid and needed ways of numbing my fears. I discovered several coping strategies (addictions). I pushed people away. I sought work opportunities that kept me isolated. I thought shy and quiet was just the way I was, but in my heart I wanted to be more outgoing, more connected to others. I’m still working really hard on that! While I am introverted, I practice interaction with everyone. I genuinely want to connect with people. I love it!
My transformation was in large part due to my relationships with other people recovering from addiction. I saw these people as beautiful. I’d hear them talk about feeling of not feeling a part of, not feeling “enough” or feeling like the “biggest piece of shit in the world” which was a tittle I had long held! These people were fragile, vulnerable, honest, and inspiring. I saw them with compassion and love. They did the same for me. I saw my transformation taking place in their eyes. While I didn’t always believe it, I knew it was true because I saw them as they saw me, without the mask and without the façade. I was slowly becoming the man I was meant to be. I saw them become who they were meant to me. Thankfully, I began to see myself as the man I should have been.
I am by no means perfect. In fact just in the last few days I’ve been hit with some very difficult challenges and my work had slowed down. I’m looking for a steady job while I build this site and hope to get clients. But this is a road bump. Joan of Arc said “I’m not afraid, I was born to do this.” I was born to live a GREAT LIFE and share it with you. It’s never too late to start. If you start today, a year from now you will wish you started sooner! Don’t let another day pass. Start now!!!