Happy Mothers Day!

My Mom is the reason why I’m here.  Not because she gave birth to me, but because she was the only one who never gave up on me when my life was at its lowest point.  I struggled with depression for years.  My suffering affected my Mom as much as it did me.  She worried constantly.  She’d call and I wouldn’t answer, she’d knock on the door and I wouldn’t answer.  I’d snap at her and wished she’d leave me alone.  I wanted to feel better but I couldn’t.  I pushed away everyone that ever loved me and was successful in getting people to leave me alone, but my Mom never did.  I would have ended my life in a drug and alcohol fueled low, but despite a complete loss of mental health and control, the thought of what killing myself would do to her kept me hanging on.

My Mom saved me through years of severe depression.  She kept me hanging on, and for a long time was my only inspiration to keep fighting.  I love my Mom for all she’s done me.

How do repay her for all she’s done?  In IOU’s, I’m ashamed to say.  Why is it so hard to express love and appreciation… I think shame has a lot to do with it.  How do you repay someone who saves your life?  I don’t know how.  But I try, one day at a time, to not let my mind run out of control.  Not just for my sake but to honor all that my Mom has done for me.

I believe that the best way we can show love and appreciation for our Mom’s (and Dad’s) is to live a meaningful, GREAT LIFE.  I’m not the most successful person, but I hope my Mom is proud of the job that she did in raising me to be the man that I am today.  I’m very happy and wouldn’t change anything about my life as it is if I could go back.  I love my Mom for being there for me and helping me become who I am today.