We Are Alone Until We Make Ourselves Known

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” – Mother Teresa of Calcutta

I think I’ve always felt this sense of loneliness.  I felt invisible or worse, I stuck out like a sore thumb… I never felt like I belonged. It’s a tough thing to feel so lonely… I never found a place or people that I truly connected to.  I’ve come close.  I’ve come across people in my life that have made me feel understood… not alone.  I’ve come across people who have played a huge part in saving my life and at times keep me company in my loneliness.  This is the toughest hurdle in transforming my life.  The urge to isolate, the fear of connecting with others is the story I most desire to change.  You can’t change a story without telling what it is and here is mine (part of it anyway…).

As a kid I loved the TV show The Incredible Hulk.  A lonely guy, David Banner, wandered from town to town and he’d meet people he felt close to.  Then something would happen and David would explode.  People he cared for would see the real him and in his shame he would leave town.  The end credits was the saddest part for me.  The closing scene during the end credits would show him hitchhiking and walking down the dirt side of the road.  A song played that made me empathize with him.  It was the loneliest song I ever heard and it made me sad because I knew that feeling of loneliness.  I once had a phone that played that song as the ringtone.  When my phone rang it made me feel so lonely!  I couldn’t see, someone was calling, someone who cared!  But the feeling of loneliness caused me to isolate and even when I wanted, I couldn’t pick up the phone.  I just seemed to always connect to the loneliness.

Somehow, in my mind, I began to equate the loneliness with the thought that I was unloved and unlovable.  I was shy and introverted and the thought of being unlovable fueled my isolation.  In fact I became so good at isolating I could do it in a crowd!

Like I said, this is just part of the story.  I assure you I have known a depth of loneliness that caused my pain and suffering.  I was convinced I was unlovable and I surrendered to the idea that I would always be alone.  This is the oldest most damaging part of my story and I’m telling a new story.  I am not alone when I allow myself to be known.

The key to ending loneliness is to allow yourself to be seen.  To be vulnerable…  For me, sometimes the most vulnerable step to ending loneliness is saying “hello, my name is Albert.”  Over the years I’ve learned to connect with people by being willing to be vulnerable.  I learned to be interested.  I’ve made myself known as someone who is a good listener, kind, compassionate… lovable.  I’ve learned to be lovable by learning to love others.

To most of you this blog topic may seem a bit elementary.  Ask yourself, when you feel lonely are you quick to say hello?  Do you offer an ear or a shoulder… do you allow yourself to be seen?




GREAT Day leads to a GREAT LIFE

 “Every day should pass as if it were to be our last.” – Publilius Syrus

My Commitment to living a GREAT LIFE starts with living a GREAT day every day.  I thought I’d share with you the writing I did today as I follow the GREAT day framework.  This is the short version I do when getting present for the day.

Gratitude: I am grateful for my life. I’m so grateful for the willingness to take responsibility to getting the life I want. I’m grateful that I have an education and that I’m talented and gifted in the work that I do.  I’m grateful for the clients that I have and the hundreds of people that I’ve been blessed to help. I’m grateful for the willingness to be seen.

Recognize Negativity:  I struggle with the fear that I will not be able to make ends meet if I don’t pick up business.  The negative thought is, I’m a financial failure.  I know that the thought is not true.  It is true that financially I need to earn more, and I will.  My financial situation is temporary.  Financially, spiritually, physically, and emotionally I am taken care of.  For today, that thought will not stop me.  I am financially responsible and I’m willing and doing whatever it takes to build my practice.

Excitement: I am living a GREAT LIFE.  A year from now I will be stronger, healthier, and happier moving toward the vision of my LIFE.  In time I will build my client list or find a job because I’m more willing than I’ve ever been to take responsibility for my life.  I love the man I’m becoming.

Action: It’s late in the day, and I’ve done a lot so far.  I spoke to clients and friends and have been of service to people struggling.  Later I will write a blog to post in the morning.  I will go to a meeting and get connected to where I was and where I know my life is headed.  I will go to my Mastering Relationships class with Mastin Kipp (Coach & Founder of thedailylove.com).

Thanks:  I’m thankful for my clean meals and my workout.  I’m thankful for my air mattress that manages to hold most of its air as I sleep through the night. I’m thankful for the phone calls I had today. For friends like Greg and Olivia… I’m thankful for my beautiful office. I’m thankful for my meetings. I’m thankful that I wasn’t alone. I’m thankful for the courage to show up and be open to learning about love at the workshop with Mastin Kipp.  God I’m thankful for the abundance and love and GREAT LIFE you have waiting for me.